Truth or Dare with The Host Club!
by LolliPopBlingGirls
Summary: Ouran Truth or Dare! Give either truths or dares to the people in OHSHC through your reviews. Anything and everything is accepted! Chaos will probably evolve, but don't we all like that? Read and review NOW!
1. Chapter 1: Installment

**TRUTH OR DARE WITH THE HOST CLUB**

**CHAPTER 1: INSTALLMENT**

**Nico: **Hello and welcome!

**Pop:** To our Truth or Dare with the Host Club!

**Pop & Nico:** Where _you_ will give out the dares and truths through your reviews!

**Nico:** But Pop and I aren't the only ones here to host, but also– JUNIPER, WHAT THE HELL?!

**JCB13 (aka Juniper):** _*sitting in fetal position in the corner, rocking back and forth with a twitching eye*_ Hehe… Sleep dumb… FanFiction good…

**Nico:** God dammit, Juniper…

**WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM MOMENTARILY TO *FRESHEN UP JUNIPER AND RETURN HER BACK TO HER NORMAL STATE.**

**(*By "freshen up" we mean that we'll dump a bucket of cold water [with ice cubes included] on her to wake her up.)**

**Pop: **_*cleaning up spilled water while mumbling something about unicorns and Pikachu*_

**Nico:**_ *cough* _Anyways, back to what I was saying. Not only am I and Pop going to host this truth or dare fic, but also JCB13!

**Juniper:** Hello~

**Nico:** Valcoria Fallen!

**Valcoria:** Sup?

**Nico: **And Vampireninja101!

**Serena:** Hi!

**Nico:** AND TOGETHER, THE FIVE OF US, WE WILL HOST THIS TRUTH OR DARE FIC! Which reminds me, we need to bring in the actual Host Club in here…

**Valcoria:** Where are we, by the way?

**Pop: **_*done cleaning*_ In our school library.

**Serena: **It's pretty…roomy.

**Nico: **I guess that's a perk for what Rhi-Rhi and I are planning.

**Pop:** I HATE THAT NICKNAME!

**Nico: **Too bad, I like it.

**Valcoria: **You guys are getting side-tracked...

**Nico:** Huh? Oh yeah. Well then, shall we Pop?

**Pop:** Yes, we shall!

**Nico & Pop:** TOGETHER, WE, NICO AND POP, INTRODUCE YOU, THE HOST CLUB! _*cue trumpet music*_

_…_

**Girl in our class named Tamara:** Koff!

…

**Nico:** Dafuq are they?

**_CRASH_**

_All five girls look up to see that the entire Host Club crashed through the roof, bringing down rubbish and broken glass down with them. _

**Tamaki:** _*swirls as eyes* _…What happened?… _*falls*_

…

**Pop:** I cleaned up last time.

**Nico:** …dammit.

_After lots of cleaning and the revival of the Host Club…_

**Hikaru:** So…we're stuck here?

**Kaoru: **To do stupid dares?

**Twins:** _Against our will?_

**Nico: **Basically.

**Honey:** Nico-chan, how long will we be here?

**Nico: **_*shrugs*_ Dunno.

**Tamaki: **Are you the only normal one here?

**Nico: **Huh? Whaddaya mean?

**Haruhi: **Uh…um…well…

**Mori: **Look around.

_Nico looks around to see Juniper all googly-eyed for Kyoya, Pop out of sight, Valcoria staring dreamily at the twins (Hikaru specifically) from behind a bookshelf, and Serena typing away on FanFiction at the computers._

**Nico: **_*sweatdrops*_ Pop isn't here though… And I guess what Serena's doing is not that abnormal…

**Kyoya:** So when shall we receive these dares?

**Nico: **This is the first chapter, so we have no reviewers yet. Though… _*grins evilly*_

**Kyoya: **Though…?

**Pop:**_*slams door open, carrying a bag*_ I AM BAAAAAACK!

**Nico: **Since it'd be boring if nothing happened this chapter, Pop and I made up a dare for you, Kyoya.

**Juniper: **…?

**Pop: **_*walks up next to Nico*_ Our dare for you, our dearest Kyoya, is to… _*slips out piece of paper*_

**Pop & Nico:** Is to dress up in this outfit and sing Katy Perry's song Peacock while shaking your butt!

_The paper consists of a checklist of the clothes Kyoya's required to wear; being a pink bikini, purple wig, fake neon-green eyelashes, red stilettos, and colourful peacock feathers._

**Juniper: **WHAT?!

**Twins:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHA! _*continues to laugh uncontrollably*_

**Haruhi:** Oh god… _*pales*_

**Honey:** _(munch, munch) *eating cake that appeared out of nowhere and did not hear what was said*_

**Mori: **…

**Kyoya:** _*pushes up glasses*_ I am not doing that.

**Juniper:** Phew…

**Pop & Nico:** Too bad, you have to.

**Kyoya: **…crap.

**Juniper:** WHAT?! YOU CAN'T! _*jumps at Nico & Pop*_

**WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM YET AGAIN TO STRAP JUNIPER AT A CHAIR SO SHE DOES NOT INJURE THE TWO MAIN HOSTESSES. (And placing a sock they found on the ground in her mouth to shut her up.)**

_After some efficient whining, Kyoya put on the stupid clothes. But because Pop and Nico are very evil deep inside, they decided to tell the principal about their act so the whole school could come and watch. Now Kyoya was standing on the stage, about 300-400-something pairs of eyes watching him._

**Pop & Nico:** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…START! _*cue music*_

**Juniper: **_*strapped to chair and sock in mouth*_ MFFFH!

**Kyoya:** _*starts shaking butt with peacock feathers*_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock_

_*_shakes butt at the front audience (which happens to be innocent Year 1's who are now scarred for life)*

_Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me, me_

_Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery, ee_

_I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_What's up your sleeve_

_Such a tease_

_Wanna see the show_

_In 3D, a movie_

_Heard it's beautiful_

_Be the judge_

_And my girls gonna take a vote_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

*dabs neon-green eyelashes*

_I want the jaw droppin', eye poppin', head turnin', body shockin'_

_(Uh, e, e, uh, uh, uh, e, e, uh)_

_I want my heart throbbin', ground shakin', show stoppin', amazin'_

_(Uh, e, e, uh, uh, uh, e, e, uh)_

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bi-atch_

_I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off_

_Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock_

_I wanna see ya_

_Skip the talk, heard it all, time to walk the walk_

_Break me off, if you bad, show me who's the boss_

_Need some goose, to get loose, come on take a shot_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hiding underneath_

_I want the jaw droppin', eye poppin', head turnin', body shockin'_

_(Uh, e, e, uh, uh, uh, e, e, uh)_

_I want my heart throbbin', ground shakin', show stoppin', amazin'_

_(Uh, e, e, uh, uh, uh, e, e, uh)_

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bi-atch_

_I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off_

_Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_Oh my God no exaggeration_

_Boy all this time was worth the waiting_

_I just shed a tear_

_I am so unprepared_

_You got the finest architecture_

_End of the rainbow looking treasure_

_Such a sight to see_

_And it's all for me_

*strikes pose but fails from the evil clackiness of the stilettos*

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bi-atch_

_I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?_

_What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off_

_Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful_

_Come on baby let me see_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_I wanna see your,_

_Your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock_

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock_

_Your peacock, cock_

_I wanna see ya_

_Come on baby let me see_

_What you're hidin' underneath_

_*_strikes final pose that looks pretty plain*

**Everyone:**_ *applauses*_

**Random Guy: **_*whistles at Kyoya's hotness*_

**Teachers: **_*stares in shock at the transvestite*_

**Kyoya:**_ *clacks off stage before getting in trouble for swearing at school*_

**Juniper****: **Mmt, mmt, mmf mmnfmhl! (Sock Translation: That, that, was beautiful!)

**Pop & Nico:**_ *high fives each other while Host Club faint in shock*_

_Back at the library… _

**Kyoya: **When can I take off this horrible costume?

**Pop: **You can handle it a little bit longer, can't you?

**Nico: **Besides, the chapter is pretty much over now.

**Serena: **Really, already?

**Nico:** Yup. But we'll definitely have more fun next time…_ *grins eerily*_

**Valcoria:** Nico-chan… You're kinda creeping me out…

**Tamaki: **And I thought Renge was bad… (° °;)

**Pop: **Hehehe… _*glances to the side seeing Juniper cooing about how awesome Kyoya was, Honey eating cake, and Haruhi mumbling something about a sale at the supermarket*_ Guess I'll be doing the talking. Anyway, remember to review and leave your dares (or truths) in there to see what will happen next chapter! We accept everything and anything! Remember, the more ridiculous it is, the better! And it counts for everybody in the Host Club, their anime/manga, and us hostesses can be dared too.

**Juniper, Valcoria & Serena:** WHAT?!

**Pop:** Didn't Nico mention that? Oh well, too bad, you're already here. Now let the fun begin… _*smiles evilly*_


	2. Chapter 2: The Game Begins…

**TRUTH OR DARE WITH THE HOST CLUB**

**CHAPTER 2: THE GAME BEGINS…**

**Nico: **Hello everyone, we're back! Pop and I were so happy to see that already within the first twelve hours we had four people favourite this fic, six followers and six reviews! That reminds me, with each and every review people went and gave at least one dare. And I saw one or two truths… Oh wells, LET'S BEGIN!

**Pop: **You like hearing yourself talk, don't you?

**Nico: **-_-' You got to talk the ending bit last chapter…

**Valcoria: **Whatever, can we continue?

**Kyoya: **I agree, we're wasting enough time by being in this commoners' library.

**Juniper: **_*wearing big foam hand and wears cap saying 'Kyoya'*_ Yeah! That's right!

**Pop:** I thought you wanted to participate in this Truth or Dare?

**Juniper: **_*shrugs*_ I'll just do whatever Kyoya wants.

**Serena:** _*sweatdrops*_ Right… Can we seriously just start now?

**Nico: **FINE!

**Twins: **This is getting booooring.

**Pop: **Shut up, you two. You aren't as awesome as Tamaki, anyway. (＞~＜#)

**Twins:** Tamaki fan, we see…

**Valcoria & Nico:** _*glares at Pop*_

**Pop:** Hahaha… ANYWAYS, let's continue on so we can do these dares. First up we have Valcoria–

**Valcoria: **HOLD IT!

**Everyone:** Huh? (･･?)

**Valcoria:** JUST START WITHOUT ME, I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE. *_runs out of room*_

**Nico:** Okay… Anyhoo, continue, Pop.

**Pop: **As I was saying… First up we have Valcoria, does Mori want to have the honours to read it out?

**Mori:** _*shrugs*_ From Valcoria: _Kyo-chan that was beautiful!_

**Kyoya: **(-_-;)

**Mori: **_And now for my evilness to be shown to the world! MUHAHAHA!_

**Valcoria: **_*slams door open* _I'm baaaack…

_Valcoria is wearing a long black cloak over a short black dress and knees high boots, and lip piercings which are shaped to look like fangs, glistening in the low light. Purple, blue and black lightning crackles around her, making her figure look menacing and evil. Then she giggles and pulls a cute face, because she's just that adorable when she's evil. She pulls down her hood and reveals cute black kitty ears on her head and whiskers drawn on her face._

**Serena: **Nice outfit…

**Tamaki:** _*has nosebleed*_

**Valcoria: **Why, thank you. Anyhow, continue Mori! I am prepared to hear my dares! And Tamaki, you're such a pervert.

**Haruhi: **Couldn't agree more.

**Tamaki:** B-b-but–! I mean– She looks nice– Cute–

**Hikaru: **Still doesn't change the fact that you just had nosebleed.

**Kaoru: **At a 13 year old nonetheless.

**Tamaki: **BUT–

**Everyone (except Pop):** Pervert.

**Tamaki:** _*goes to dusty corner to sulk*_

**Pop: **_*rolls eyes and goes to comfort him (since she just likes Tamaki that much)*_

**Valcoria: **Whatever, continue Mori!

**Mori:** _Dare time! Haruhi, do the cinnamon challenge!_

**Haruhi: **The what challenge?

**Nico: **The cinnamon challenge. Where you try to eat a spoonful of cinnamon in 60 seconds without drinking anything.

**Haruhi: **Oh… Sounds kind of disgusting.

**Juniper:** Well, you gotta do it, Haru. You were dared.

**Haruhi:** Fine, whatever.

**Nico:** TO THE STAFF ROOM!

_At the staff room… _

**Mr. V (our principal):** Why are you students taking the cinnamon? And aren't most of you high school students? And why's that young, blonde man curled up in the corner?

**Haruhi:** Ignore him…

**Nico: **_*takes out spoon*_ Sir, please, we know what we're doing.

**Mr. V:** _*points to Nico & Pop (who gave up on Tamaki)*_ But you two are supposed to be in class right now.

**WE QUICKLY PAUSE THE CURRENT FLOW OF THE FANFIC TO INSERT A FLASHBACK FROM NICO & POP:**

**Mr. A (Nico and Pop's teacher): **WAIT, GET BACK HERE! _*struggles to get out of rope he is tried in* _BOTH OF YOU ARE SUSPENDED!

**Nico & Pop:** Meh, you can do that once you come out. _*closes cupboard door*_

**Mr. A:** _*inside cupboard* _TAKE ME OUT IMMEDIATELY!

**Nico: **_*locks it* _Eh, we'll do it later.

**Pop: **You'll just stop our fun. _*throws key out of window*_

**Nico & Pop's class:** _*stare in shock*_

**Nico & Pop: **What're you guys staring at?

**Nico: **We just did a favor for you.

**Pop:** Yeah, we just cancelled the math test we were supposed to have today.

…

**Random kid named Marco: **NO SCHOOL!

**Class: **WOOHOO! PARTY! _*runs out of classroom* *two guys make dubstep noises while others dance and girl named Jazmine randomly blows up balloons she has*_

…

_(Cricket noise)_

…

**Pop:** We did the right thing.

**Nico: **But we'll be in so much trouble when we let him out.

**Pop: **Let's wait until we start high school then, he won't have authority over us by then.

**Nico:** But won't he be dead by then?

**Pop: **Meh, who cares? This is FanFiction.

**WE COME BACK TO OUR DILEMMA IN THE TRUTH OR DARE FIC IN THE CURRENT TIME.**

**Mr. V: **_*points to Valcoria, Serena & Juniper*_ You three aren't even students here! _*points to Host Club (as you can see, he likes to point)*_ And you all are high schoolers from some school I have never heard of! From the looks of it it's a fancy one… But why're you here?!

**Nico: **…

**Pop:** …

**Valcoria:** …

**Serena: **…

**Juniper: **…

**Host Club:** …

**Mr. V: **Well?

**Juniper: **QUICK, POP, VALCORIA, HELP ME TO TIE HIM UP AND THROW HIM IN THE CLOSET!

**Mr. V:** WHAT?!

**JUNIPER AND CO. INTERRUPT THIS FANFIC MOMENTARILY TO TIE UP THE TWO MAIN HOSTESSES' PRINCIPAL. (AND ANY OTHER TEACHER THAT CAME AND STARTED TO QUESTION WHAT THE TEENS WERE DOING.)**

**Juniper: **_*pushes third teacher into closet*_ I think we're ready to go now.

**Pop:** Good, now go on Haruhi.

**Haruhi: **_*stares warily at spoon topped with cinnamon* _Okay… _*puts spoon in mouth*_

…

**Honey: **How is it, Haru-chan?

**Haruhi: **_*coughs out cinnamon cloud*_ BLEGH, DISGUSTING! _*runs to sink to wash mouth*_

**Twins, Nico, Valcoria & Pop: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Tamaki: **_*back from corner*_ OMIGOD, DAUGHTER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

**Haruhi:** _*cough*_ I'm not your_ *cough* _daughter, senpai… _*cough*_

**Tamaki: **_*goes back to grow mushrooms in corner*_

**Kyoya: **The cinnamon on your uniform will have to washed off. I'm going to add that to your debt. _*scribbles in notebook*_

**Haruhi: **YOU… _*cough*_ …KIDDING ME?! _*glugs down water*_

**Kyoya: **Nope.

…

**Honey: **…isn't cinnamon supposed to be yummy?

**Mori:** Not when eating it alone, Mitsukuni.

**Honey: **Oh…

_Back at the library..._

**Nico: **Well, _*giggle*_ that was eventful.

**Haruhi:** _*sneezes out small cinnamon cloud*_

**Pop: **Hehe… let's continue on with Valcoria's dares…

**Twins & Tamaki:** _**THERE'S MORE?!**_

**Serena: **Well, yeah, you weren't expecting just one dare, were you?

**Tamaki & Twins: **…

**Juniper: **Continue please, Mori!

**Mori:** _Tamaki, give Kyoya a lap dance while wearing a very revealing pink dress._

_…_

_(The crickets return)_

_..._

**Twins: **BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA— _*the laugh continues*_

**Tamaki: **Oh geez…

**Kyoya: **I will certinately NOT do that.

**Valcoria:** Please?

**Kyoya:** No.

**Pop: **Please?

**Twins: **–HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH–_*deep breath*_–AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA–

**Kyoya:** No.

**Nico: **_Please_?

**Kyoya: **NO.

**Juniper: **_PLEASE?_

**Kyoya:** NOO.

**Twins: **–HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA...hahaha...hahahaha… _*wipes tears*_

**Honey: _Please_**, Kyo-chan?

**Kyoya: **How many times do I have to say it?! _NO_!

**Serena: _SHUT UP AND DO IT._**

...

_(Crickets are pretty popular today.)_

...

**Kyoya: **O.O'

**Nico:** Wow, Serena, didn't know you had it in you.

**Serena:** Heh, thanks.

…

**Kyoya:** Still not doing it.

**Nico: **If you don't then I'll make sure Patty comes.

**Twins: **Who dafuq's Patty?

**Serena: **Patty Thompson? From Soul Eater?

**Host Club: **Wassat?

**Nico & Serena:** … _*mumble about how scary Patty is when mad*_

**Pop: **_*doesn't either know who Patty is* _Who wants to have the honours?

**Honey: **Takashi and I will do it!

**Kyoya: **Hm? _*grabbed from behind by seniors* _Wait, Honey-senpai, Mori-senpai, what're you doing?! _*being pulled*_ HEY–

**DUE TO CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES (SUCH AS NICO NOT BEING BOTHERED TO TYPE IT ALL OUT) WE'LL SKIP FORWARD THROUGH TIME A LITTLE BIT.**

_So after about ten minutes, Honey and Mori had successfully tied the Shadow King to a chair. Then, the girls, excluding Haruhi who was busy looking through a recipe book, asked Tamaki to change to the dress. Surprisingly, he did it without hesitation. (He seemed rather excited actually…)_

**Kyoya: **_*tied to chair*_ I hate every single one of you… _*glasses gleaming*_

**Tamaki: **_*doing lap dance*_ Ya know you like it, Mommy! _*gets into it*_

**Everyone else: **...

**Nico:** _*cough*_ Okay, that was unexpected to hear… Mori?

**Mori:** _Honey...eat a cake made with chilli's and red hot pepper! (I'm so sorry!)_

**Everyone: **_*chokes on spit*_

**Valcoria: **I AM SORRY!_ *steals Tamaki's corner*_

**Honey: **But…it's still cake, right?…

**Girls p****lus Twins:** _*gulps*_

_A few minutes later… _

_One of the mom's who works at the school's canteen brings in a cake that is flaming red and has chilli peppers on top to decorate it. Inside it's filled with chillis, red hot peppers, and some Tabasco sauce. _

**Canteen Mom:** _*places cake in front Honey*_ Here ya go, sweets. _*walks out*_

**Honey: **YAY CAKE!_ *cuts half of it*_

**Serena: **TAKE COVER!_ *everyone hides behind bookshelves or under tables (except Tamaki & Kyoya because they're still busy with their dare)*_

**Honey: **_*swallows cake*_

_… _

_… _

**Haruhi: **Nothing happened…?

**Honey: **_*breathes fire* _AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHIT'SOFREAKINGHOOOOOOOTSOMEBODYGIMMESOMEWATER! TAKASHIBRINGMESOMEGODDAMNWATEEEEEERRRRR!_ *runs out of room breathing like a retarded dragon*_

**Mori: **Mitsukuni…! _*follows* _Milk is better!

…

…

…

**Nico: **That went better than expected.

**Everyone else:** *_sweatdrops_*

**Pop: **It seems as though Mori isn't here anymore… Who wants to read the rest of the dares?

**Serena:** I'll do it. _*clears throat* Now for the main event! Hikaru and Kaoru, you must kiss! On the lips! And it must last for at least three seconds! If I have to I will push your heads together! BRING ON THE TWINCEST!_

**Twins: **WHAAAAAT?!

**Valcoria:**_ *back from corner (because it was too emo)* _You heard… Now pucker up, boys…

**Twins: ***stares at each other*

**Hikaru:** I don't wanna do it.

**Kaoru:** Me neither, but it's a dare, right?

**Hikaru:** But…WE'RE FREAKING BROTHERS.

**Kaoru:** So?

**Hikaru:** …

**Kaoru:** Hikaru?

**Hikaru:** Dude, since when were you gay?

**Kaoru: **I'm not.

**Hikaru: **But, you just said it like it was no big deal.

**Kaoru:** Hikaru, we practically do this kind of stuff every day at the club.

**Hikaru: **Yeah, but we haven't actually kissed before. (**All Fangirls From Ouran: **WHAT?!)

**Kaoru: **Well, there's a first for everything right? Plus, we only have to do it for three seconds.

**Hikaru:** I guess you're right…

**Valcoria: **UGH, JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT ALREADY! _*pushes twins' heads together*_

**Twins: **_*lips clash*_ MFFH!

**Valcoria:** F*CK YEAH! TWINCEST! (**Fangirls From Ouran:** _*dies from overload of yaoi*_)

**Kyoya: **_*still receiving lap dance from Tamaki in the corner of the room* _IF ALL OF OUR CUSTOMERS ARE DEAD THANKS TO YOU, YOU'LL GET A DEBT!

**Valcoria:**_ *still holding twins' heads (who started to enjoy the kiss but are now losing breath)*_ What debt? It's not like I broke anything. Besides, this is FanFiction, those girls will come back to life sooner or later.

**Twins: **_*turning blue*_

**Nico: **Cori-chan…

**Kyoya:** YOU'LL GET ALL THE MONEY WE'RE GONNA LOSE.

**Valcoria: **You're not making any sense.

**Twins:** _*suffocating*_

**Nico: **Cori-chan…!

**Pop: **_*watching Tamaki's lap dance*_

**Kyoya:** I AM GONNA MAKE SENSE WHEN YOU'RE MY SLAVE!

**Valcoria: **Dafuq?

**Twins:** _*dies*_

**Nico:** NOOOO! CORI-CHAN, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! _*bawls*_

**Valcoria:** _*looks at twins* *gasps* *lets go and starts crying*_ I-I didn't mean to!

**Kyoya: **GREAT, JUST GREAT, YOU JUST KILLED ONE OF OUR MAIN ATTRACTIONS! [A/N: Wow, really Kyoya? You don't care that your friends just _died_?]

**Nico & Valcoria:** _*crying by twins' dead bodies*_ WAAAAAAAAAH!

**Serena: **Eh, you guys?

**Nico & Valcoria:** WHHYYYYYYY?!

**Serena:** You guys!

**Nico:** THEY WERE TOO YOUNG!

**Valcoria: **AND AWESOME!

**Nico & Valcoria: **AND HOOOOOOT!

**Serena: **_*vein pops*_ SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!

**Nico & Valcoria:** _*stops crying*_ Hm?

**Serena: **They're not freaking dead… They just passed out. This _is_ FanFiction, after all.

**Twins:**_ *snoozing away*_

**Nico & Valcoria:** _*blinks*_

...

**Nico & Valcoria: **KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, CUTEEEEE!

**Everyone else:**_ *sweatdrops*_

**Valcoria: **_*stands up* _MUAUAHAH! _*lightning crackles around her*_ My dares are done for now! _*lightning disappears and she falls down and snuggles up to Hikaru*_ I'll have a little nap… Evilness…drains my…power…zzzz…

**Nico: **…okay…

**Pop:** _*pauses from watching Tamaki's lap dance*_ So that was our first reviewer, time to go to the next. Serena?

**Serena: **These are from neko Hika-chan: _This sounds great so far! Been waiting for a fic like this!_

**Nico & Pop:** Thank you. ;3

**Serena:** _I think I have a nice dare for the girl who likes the twins...Valcoria, right? Unusual name...but I like it!_

_So actually, my dare is for Valcoria and both the twins. If Valcoria can win the which one is Hikaru game, the twin of her choice must kiss her. Good luck!_

**Juniper: **_*was busy writing Kyoya fanfics the whole time*_ OOOH, a dare for a hostess~

**Nico: **_*pouts*_ The twins get to kiss her… I WANNA BE KISSED TOO BY A TWIN!

**Serena: **You can have the one leftover, I guess…

**Pop: **_*wakes up Valcoria* _Valcoria, get up.

**Valcoria:** _*wakes up*_ What?

**Pop: **You've been dared.

**Valcoria: **To do what?

**Pop: **To play the 'Which One Is Hikaru' game and if you win the twin of your choice gets to kiss you.

**Valcoria:** …

**Pop: **...

**Valcoria: **I freaking love that reviewer. _*turns to twins*_ OI, WAKE UP!

**Twins: **_*wakes up*_ Whaddaya want?

**Valcoria:** You're gonna play the 'Which One Is Hikaru' game with me.

**Twins: **_*glances at each other*_ Okay, you're on. _*stands up and puts on caps* *spins and mixes up a few times* _Guess which one of us is Hikaru!

**Valcoria:** _*points to twin of the left* _You're Hikaru.

**Twins:** …

**Nico: **…

**Tamaki: **_*still doing lap dance*_

**Kyoya: **_*forced to watch Tamaki*_

**Librarian: **…

**Random Year 5 Student:** …

**Juniper:** …_ *typing on FanFiction* (tap, tap, tap)_

**Pop: **…

**Honey: **_*chugging down milk*_

**Mori:** …

**Haruhi: **..._*wondering why she hasn't left yet when she had the chance*_

**Serena: **Well?

**Twins:** …she's right.

**Nico & Valcoria:** Well, DUHH!

**Valcoria:** YAY! I GET A KISS FROM ONE OF THE TWINS!

**Twins: **Which one?

**Valcoria: **Hikaru!

**Nico:** And as the main hostess, I demand that Kaoru kisses me as well!

**Kaoru: **No way.

**Nico:** Oh well, I like Hikaru more anyways.

**Kaoru: **-_-

**Hikaru: **_*kisses Valcoria on the cheek*_

**Valcoria: **That was just a peck! And I want it on the lips! _*grabs Hikaru and kisses him passionately on the lips*_

**Everyone else: **o.O'

**Valcoria: **_*lets go of Hikaru*_ There, done!

**Hikaru:** _*wipes mouth with sleeve* *mumbles*_ For being 13, she's a good kisser…

**Nico:** Serena?

**Serena:** _Oh, and I have one for you too Nico! Your dare is to drink a random potion from the black magic club. I wonder what will happen?_

_Neko neko Hika-chan, out!_

And that is all from neko Hika-chan.

**Nico:** I've gotta drink a potion? o.o

**Pop:** It said so, but Nekozawa's not here–

_**BANG**_

_Everyone looks to the middle of the library to see Nekozawa on the ground, who had fallen through the gaping hole in the roof from when the Host Club had entered. (For some reason, no one bothered to call construction workers to fix it…)_

**Nekozawa: **_*half-conscious on the ground* *chuckles creepily*_ Somebody requested my services…? _*holds up blue potion in bottle*_

**Nico:** _*takes bottle*_ Oh well, what's the worst that could happen? _*opens bottle* *drinks it whole*_

**Pop:** …

**Serena: **...

**Juniper:** …

**Tamaki: **_*pulls down shoulder straps off dress*_

**Kyoya: **_*about to barf*_

**Valcoria: **…

**Mori: **…

**Kaoru:** …

**Honey: **_*eating a normal cake*_

**Hikaru:** …

**Haruhi: **…

**Nico: **_(__hic) *looks drunk*_ Ha-ha! I dunno w'at dis potion did… Bu' I feel great!

**Pop:** _*reads label on potion*_ _The Drunkinizer. Bring out your inner moron! Makes you feel and act drunk for five hours straight, no alcohol included. You won't have a hangover afterwards, but you might feel sleepy. _So she's gonna be drunk now? And who'd make a potion like this?

**Nekozawa: **_*mumbling to himself on the ground*_ Wasn't I supposed to give that do the Suoh guy? I dunno…

**Haruhi: **Thank god he didn't give it to Tamaki then…

**Nico: **_*stumbles over to Tamaki & Kyoya*_ OooOOH! Damcing! _(hic)_ I luv damcin'! Can I wear de pwetty 'ink d'ess?

**Kyoya: **UNTIE ME.

**Nico:** Naah! _*hugs Kyoya from behind*_ If you're tied up, you've gotta _(hic) _'ave don' somet'ing 'ad._ *purrs in ear* _I like naughty boys…_ *licks cheek*_

**Kyoya: **WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

**Haruhi: **That just looks wrong… On so many levels…

**Valcoria: **…I agree…

**Pop: **Anyway… Who wants to have the honours to read out the next one?

**Honey:** Me please!

**Pop:** 'Kay, go for it.

**Honey:** YAY! This is from Vampireninja101.

**Nico: **_*points sloppily at Serena*_ Dat's you, Sewena! _(hic)_

**Honey:** _Holy shit that was hilarious X'D I literally fell out of my chair laughing X'DD_

**Pop: **Nico and I _are_ comedic geniuses...

**Honey:** _Oh how silly of me! I forgot my dare! Hmm.. let see. -dirty blonde hair is in a ponytail as a prep, puts on glasses and pushes them up so that the light catches the lenses- It shall be about Tamaki-sempai and Kyoya-sempai... hmmm. HAZA! -dramatically points to the sky- TAMAKI AND KYOYA MUST KISS ON DA LIPS FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS XDDDD -devil horns and tail appear- |:} This shall be much fun }:D_

**Twins: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Kyoya:** WHAT? I AM CERTINATELY NOT DOING THAT.

**Nico:** OwooOOOoowooh! _(hic)_ Kyoya kiss Tamaki? Much fun! _*squeezes Kyoya's cheeks*_ C'mon, puck'r up lova boy~ _(hic)_

**Tamaki: **Come on Kyoya, it's a dare!

**Kyoya: **HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU SO WILLING TO DO THIS?

**Everyone (except Nico):** …

**Nico: **C'MON BOYS, _(hic)_ PUCKA UP!

**Tamaki:** _*leans in and kisses Kyoya on the lips for five seconds*_

**Nico: **Oweeh, ain' dat cuuuuute?

**Twins:** _*singing*_ 'And the truth is, yeah the truth is, that I love you, yeah I love you~'

**Nico:** Omigud, I luv dat song!

_Within seconds, Kyoya somehow gains superhuman strength and tears off the rope he is tied to. He pushes Tamaki and Nico off, and runs out the library quicker than the speed of light. He is then seen outside chugging down water from the gardener's water hose._

_Meanwhile, Nico wanders off and drapes herself on Hikaru, giggling in a drunk mess; Pop continues to print out the next upcoming dares (since the computers are slow as snails for Internet); Juniper writes Kyoya-fanfics on Microsoft Word; Valcoria listens to music on her iPod; Serena writes regular fanfics on Microsoft Word; Kaoru is still singing random love songs; Hikaru tries to pry off Nico, but she won't budge; Honey eats cake; Mori…stares; Kyoya is still drinking from the hose; Haruhi checks out her twelfth cookbook; Nekozawa talks to Belzeneff; and Tamaki is still wearing the pink dress._

**Pop:** Okay, who wants to read the next darer?

**Juniper: **_*pauses from writing*_ I'll do it! _*grabs paper*_ These are from animeluver69: _I dare kyoya to put ice down the back of whoever he despises the most_

**Kyoya: **_*outside*_ I'll definitely do that! _*walks back inside library and walks up to Nico*_

**Nico:** _*hanging off Hikaru's back*_ Hey Kyoya! _(hic)_ What ya doin'?

**Kyoya: **_*smirks* *pulls out ice-pack from thin air* *pulls Nico's shirt and pour ice down her back*_

**Nico:** KEEEE! COLD! _*jumps off Hikaru*_ KEEEEE...eee...e..ah…it's nice…

**Everyone except Nico: **o.O

**Juniper:** _tamaki to dye his hair green_

**Tamaki:** Okay, I'll do it! _*leaves library*_

**Serena: **He's actually gonna do it?

**Valcoria: **Wow, he is.

**Pop: **Wait.

**Serena, Valcoria & Host Club: **Hm?

**Pop: **We don't have showers at this school, and the closest thing you can get to is–

**Random Student In The Hall: **TEEEAAAACHER! THERE'S A GUY BATHING IN THE BATHROOM SINK! [A/N: Our bathroom sinks is like one big one that has like four taps on the side. It's pretty huge, somebody could take a bath in it if they wanted to. xD]

**Host Club, Serena & Valcoria: **(°_°;)

**Nico:** _*pretending to ride a horse*_ My Little Pony, My Little Pony…!

**Pop: **_*sweatdrops*_

**Tamaki:** _*runs in library with towel around waist and dripping wet green hair*_ I didn't even have time to put on my clothes!

**Pop: **_*mesmerized by Tamaki's toned upperbody*_ No… It's okay…

**Haruhi:** Senpai, put on some fricken clothes!

**Tamaki: **_*shocked* _My daughter, using such vile language! _*grows mushrooms in corner (still in towel only)*_

**Juniper: **Hey, where's your dress, Tamaki?

**Tamaki: **_*holds up pink, skimpy dress*_ Here!

**Juniper: **Put it on.

**Tamaki:** Okay! _*goes to secluded area in library*_

**Host Club: **…

**Hikaru: **He's gay.

**Kaoru:** Yup.

**Juniper: **Eh… Anyways… _a truth for hikaru, who was his first kiss_

**Hikaru:** _*points to Kaoru* _From that evil witch's dare.

**Valcoria:** HEY! Wait, that was your first kiss? O.o

**Hikaru:** _*shrugs*_

**Nico: **POTATOES ARE EDIBLE!

**Juniper: **_same truth for Kaoru_

**Kaoru: **_*points to Hikaru*_ Same reason as him.

**Valcoria: **MWAHAHA, I MADE SURE THE TWINS' FIRST KISS WAS FILLED WITH TWINCEST!

_All the way over in Japan, fangirls from Ouran are decorating floats for a parade in Valcoria's honour. Renge's in charge._

**Juniper: **_and haruhi must kiss whoever she likes the most in the host club_

_yay!_

_-Sunshine3_

**Haruhi:** …I don't like anyone in particular.

**Valcoria, Serena, Juniper, Pop & Host Club:** WHAT?!

**Nico:** Ladidaladida...

**Haruhi: **Nope, nobody.

**Nico:** WAZA! _*points dramatically in the air*_

**Pop: **I guess we have to skip that dare then…

**Nico:**_ *stumbles over to computer*_

**Valcoria:** But that'd be no fun.

**Nico: **_*logs into computer (failed a few times though)*_

**Juniper: **I KNOW, LET HER KISS KYOYA!

**Haruhi:** ARE YOU MAD?

**Nico: **_*opens Magic Hat program*_

**Serena:** But what are we gonna do?

**Haruhi: **Just skip the stupid dare!

**Nico:** SHE'LL KISS HIKARU!

...

**Everyone except Nico:** Wha?

**Nico:** I t'ought dat maybe we could just pick randomly… So I used dis pwogam!

**Juniper: **She might've just only typed Hikaru's name…

**Pop: **_*looks over list*_

* * *

_Kyoya  
Tamaki  
Hikaru  
Kaoru  
Honey  
Mori  
Hitachiin #1  
Hitachiin #2  
Suoh  
Mitsukuni  
Takashi  
Ohtori  
Morinozuka  
Haninozuka  
Tama  
Kao  
Kyo  
Hika_

_Name: Hitachiin #1_

* * *

**Pop:** Nope, it's legit.

**Everyone except Nico & Pop: **Really? 0.0

**Pop:** Yup, Hikaru, Haruhi, come on.

**Hikaru:** _*blushes*_

**Kaoru:** _*snickers*_

**Haruhi: **_*walks up to Hikaru*_ Well– Hey, why're you so red?

**Hikaru: **NO REASON.

**Haruhi: **...okay… Well, let's just do this. _*leans in and kisses Hikaru on the lips*_

**Hikaru: **_*kisses back*_

**Nico: **YAAAY!

**Tamaki: **_*back from changing into dress* _My...daughter…evil twin…NOO…! _*melts into puddle*_

**Hikaru & Haruhi:**_ *pulls apart and blush*_

**Valcoria:** Hell yeah.

**Serena: **Amen to that.

**Pop: **Next person?

**Tamaki: **I will! _*grabs paper with dares* _This is from pearl . clark .129: _the twins should steal usa chan and have nekozawa offer him to a demon god or something like that_

**Honey: **NOT MY USA-CHAN!

**Serena: **Don't worry, Honey, this is the world of FanFiction. The worst that could happen is that you won't have Usa-chan for the rest of the chapter.

**Pop: **Besides…you haven't even held him the whole entire time. He's been sitting by that chair over there._ *points to chair at the corner of the room* _Wait, where is he?

**Twins: **_*walking up to Nekozawa (who still haven't moved from the ground)*_ Oi, Nekozawa-senpai, can you like offer this bunny to some god of yours? _*holding out Usa-chan*_

**Nekozawa:** _*bolts up*_ WHY YES! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO OFFER TO THE TIGRIS GODDESS!_ *takes bunny and goes to corner of room (which is decorated with all kinds of cult gizmos)*_ OH GODDES OF THE TIGRIS, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS GIFT OF A BUNNY PLUSHIE FROM ME…_ *chants some weird ritiual* *Usa-chan starts levitating in the air, and a huge gaping hole appears* *a strong wind passes through the library, and Usa-chan is sucked into the hole* *the hole closes with a slurp and Nekozawa continues to chant*_

**Honey: **USA-CHAN! _*starts sobbing*_

**Mori: **_*comforts him*_

**Twins:** That was easy enough.

**Pop: **Anyway, who's next–

**Kyoya:** Why not I?

**Pop: **Sure. Why don't you read the last two reviewers? _*gives paper*_

**Kyoya:** _*takes paper and glasses reflect the light*_ Why not? First up is JCB13–

**Tamaki:** _*points dramatically at Juniper while wearing skimpy pink dress and having seaweed green hair* _That's you!

**Juniper:** Whatevs!

**Kyoya:** She says: _It's evil time. I dare... Kaoru... TO EAT ALL OF HANI'S CAKE! And accept Hani's consequences. *evil giggle*_

**Kaoru:** O.o Okay… _*goes to Honey*_

**Honey:** _*sniffle* _My Usa-chan… _*sniff*_

**Kaoru:** _*takes cake that is behind Honey stealthily* *runs to other side of the room* *eats cake whole (thankfully it wasn't much)*_

**Honey: **_*oblivious to Kaoru*_ Takashi?

**Mori:** Mm?

**Honey: **Can I have some cake?

**Mori:** Sure. _*grabs cake plate*_

No cake.

**Honey: **Huh? Where's my cake?

**Everyone else: **_*points to Kaoru*_

**Kaoru: **_*licks frosting at side of mouth*_ What?

**Honey: **Kao-chan… Did you eat my cake?

**Kaoru: **Yes…?

_Suddenly, a dark aura forms around Honey. In most cases, Honey wouldn't have cared and just get a new cake, but he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and he hasn't had cake for about three hours now. Plus..._

_He was limited on cake here._

**Honey:** _*leaps up* _KAAAAAAAAOOOOOOO-CHAAAAAAAANN!

**Kaoru:** WAAAAAAAA–

**WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM CURRENTLY TO CUT OUT A VERY BADLY WRITTEN FIGHT BETWEEN THE KARATE AND JUDO CHAMPION MITSUKUNI HANINOZUKA AND A DEFENSELESS KAORU HITACHIIN.**

_After Honey had beaten Kaoru up with very little mercy, and then realised his actions and apologised repeatedly while Kaoru was being fixed up by the school nurse, they all went back to the library to commence the last reviewer's dares of the day._

**Honey:**_ *eating cake while swinging around in chair*_

**Nico: **You'we weally eveell, Junipa! _(hic)_

**Juniper:** Yes, I know that. _*smiles evilly*_

**Kyoya:** And the last reviewer of the day is Imncake:

_DARES: _

_Honey: No eating cake for the rest of the game_

**Honey: **HUH?! _*cake taken away by Valcoria* _NOOO! MY CAKE!

**Kaoru: **_*leaning against crutch* _Couldn't we have done that dare earlier?

**Everyone else: **_*sweatdrops*_

**Kyoya:** _Mori: Kiss Tamaki on the lips_

**Tamaki: **…

**Mori:** _*looks over Tamaki*_ At least he's dressed as a girl…even though it's an ugly one… _*leans in and kisses Tamaki*_

**Tamaki: **_*faints when Mori pulls away*_

**Kyoya:** _Tamaki: Dance to Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball_

**Nico: **_*potion magically wears off suddenly* _OMIGOD, LET ME HELP HIM WITH THAT! _*grabs unconscious Tamaki and pulls him out of library*_

…

**Pop: **What's she gonna do?

**Serena: **Dunno.

...

**Nico: **_*from distance*_ START DA MUSIC. _*cue music*_

**Tamaki: **_*from distance*_

_We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain_

_We jumped never asking why_

_We kissed, I fell under your spell._

_A love no one could deny_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away_

_I will always want you_

_I can't live a lie, running for my life_

_I will always want you_

(**Pop: **It didn't say anything about singing it…)

**_CRASH_**

**Tamaki:** _I came in like a wrecking ball~!_

_Tamaki crashes through the building while sitting on a wrecking ball like Miley Cyrus, and makes walls collapse. He swings himself around and causes everything to fall down, still clad in his skimpy dress and green hair._

**Valcoria: **Oh please for the love of god– _*dodges Tamaki*_– don't let him strip _**NAKED**_!

**Tamaki:** _I never hit so hard in love!_

_All I wanted was to break your walls_

_All you ever did was wreck me_

_Yeah, you, you wreck me~_

_Suddenly, the whole building is in ruins, the only thing left standing is a table that the whole gang had hidden under. The librarian, who is always quiet and said nothing when the kids caused havoc, runs out of the library and screams like a frightened little girl._

**Tamaki: **_I put you high up in the sky_

_And now, you're not coming down_

_It slowly turned, you let me burn_

_And now, we're ashes on the ground_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away_

_I will always want you_

_I can't live a lie, running for my life_

_I will always want you_

_I came in like a wrecking ball_

_I never hit so hard in love_

_All I wanted was to break your walls_

_All you ever did was wreck me_

_I came in like a wrecking ball_

_Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung_

_Left me crashing in a blazing fall_

_All you ever did was wreck me_

_Yeah, you, you wreck me_

_Then when Tamaki had broken down the whole building, he jumps off the wrecking ball and grabs a random brick on the ground, licking it Miley Cyrus-style. He then dramatically falls to his knees and makes a face that look likes he's in pain while he clutches his hair._

**Tamaki:** _I never meant to start a war_

_I just wanted you to let me in_

_And instead of using force_

_I guess I should've let you win_

_I never meant to start a war_

_I just wanted you to let me in_

_I guess I should've let you win_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away_

_I will always want you_

*jumps onto wrecking ball again and swings around*

_I came in like a wrecking ball_

_I never hit so hard in love_

_All I wanted was to break your walls_

_All you ever did was wreck me_

_I came in like a wrecking ball_

_Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung_

_Left me crashing in a blazing fall_

_All you ever did was wreck me_

_Yeah, you, you wreck me_

_Yeah, you, you wreck me_

*does final pose on wrecking ball looking all sad*

…

**Nico: **_*walks into ruined room laughing uncontrollably*_ GAHAHAHAA- I can't even- HHAHAHA- Wrecking ball from 'Otaku Authoress'- HAHAHA!

**Valcoria: **YOU ALMOST KILLED US, NICO-CHAN!

**Nico:** Hahahahaha- sorry- hahahahaha!

**Twins:** _*looks at Tamaki*_ Tono, you can get off now.

**Tamaki: **No! This is fun!_ *swings around more*_

**Pop: **Whatever… o.e Kyoya?

**Kyoya: **_Kaoru: Wear a bikini_

**Kaoru:** Say what now?

**Nico:** Oh! Why don't you come with me? _*grabs Kaoru's hand and pulls him out of room*_ My mom bought me a bunch of bikinis some time ago, but I don't wear bikinis anyway, so they are all stored in my drawer.

_After about an hour or so…_

**Kaoru: **_*walks into library wearing a black and white striped bikini, grumbling under his breath*_

**Valcoria:** You look just beautiful! XD

**Kaoru:** Buzz off, a man shouldn't wear these kind of things...

**Hikaru: **But, Kaoru, I think you look cute...

**Kaoru:** You really think so, Hikaru?

**Hikaru: **Of course._ *hugs Kaoru*_ But I think you're even cuter without them during night...

**Kaoru: **Hikaru~ _*blush*_

**Valcoria & Fangirls From Ouran:** KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! _*faints*_

**Nico: **The twincest will never end...

**Pop:** …geezus...

**Kyoya: **Anyway, can you two that during club? You know, when customers are _paying_?

**Twins:** _*shrugs*_

**Pop: **Continue please, Kyoya.

**Kyoya:** _Hikaru: Put on a magic show_

_Kyoya: ... you've had enough torment_

_Hope you will do these dares! i really enjoyed the first chapter!_

THANK YOU, SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME.

**Hikaru: **O.o

**Nico:** Pop?

**Pop:** Mmhmm.

_Shortly, within the hour, the whole school is assembled in the assembly area to watch Hikaru's show. The stage is decorated for Hikaru's performance._

**Nico: **_*walks up on stage and holds microphone*_ Hello everyone! Today we're gonna see the amazing show of the famous magician, Hikaru Hitachiin!

**Hikaru:**_ *mumbles at backstage* _I am a fashion designer… not a magician.

**Nico: **Now give a round a of applause for him!

**School:** _*applause*_

**Hikaru:** _*walks up on stage wearing magician clothing*_

**Nico: **_*scurries off*_

**Hikaru: **_*cough* *strikes pose*_ It is I, the famous magician, Hikaru Hitachiin! _*mini-firework show happens around stage*_

**All Year 1-3 Students:** Wooooaaaaah..

**Kid Named Max:** GAAAAAAAAY~

**Hikaru: **_*sweatdrops*_

_Backstage, Valcoria is forcing Kaoru to go in some box while Nico is busy talking to Harry Potter, which she ever so kindly took to handle Hikaru's magic show._

**Harry: **I was about to go into battle with Voldemort!

**Nico:** _*waves hand*_ Yeah, yeah, you can do that later, we have more important things to do.

**Harry:** How is a magic show for a school more important than beating an evil wizard?

**Nico: **It just is… And besides, I took you out just before you beat him, so there's no worries.

**Harry: **...

**Nico: **Plus, I sent someone over to take your place while you're here.

_At the stage a drumroll is heard, and you can see Hikaru holding a green blanket like a matador. Then, he quickly lets go of it, and suddenly Kaoru is standing there, still wearing the bikini._

**Hikaru: **THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, KAORU!

**Kaoru: **_*grumbles*_

_Meanwhile Hikaru is having his magic show, Kyoya is hiding somewhere in Hogwarts where the battle between Voldemort's army and Hogwart's students are happening._

[A/N: It's been about two years since last I saw a full Harry Potter movie (never read the books cos I am lazy), so sorry in advance if someone is a lil' OOC or if something is wrong.]

**_BOOM_**

**_BANG_**

**_CRASH_**

**Kyoya: **_*dodges evil magic electricity spark thingy* _GAAAAH!

**Hermione:**_ *looking for Harry*_ Harry, Harry!

**Ron: **Where the bloody hell are you?

**Hermione: **_*finds Kyoya*_ Ah, Harry– Wait, you aren't Harry!

**_BANG_**

**Kyoya: **Of course not!

**Ron: **I haven't seen you before at Hogwarts. O.o

**Kyoya: **Cos I'm not a fricken student here!

**Hermione: **Do you know where Harry is?

**Kyoya: **HE'S IN FRICKIN' AUSTRALIA PERFORMING A MAGIC SHOW!

…

…

**Hermione:** …what?

**Ron: **ARE YOU BLOODY SERIOUS?

**_CRASH_**

**Evil Witch:** MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!

_We go back to Hikaru's show in Australia..._

_About twenty minutes has gone through the show, and Hikaru's tricks (thanks to Harry's doing) has caused everyone in the school to be impressed and laugh (except two boys in Year 7 who are never impressed with anything)._

**Hikaru:** AND NOW, FOR MY FINAL TRICK, I AM GOING TO TURN MY ASSISTANT INTO A FROG.

**Kaoru:** WHAT?!

**Backstage Workers: **_*sweatdrops*_

**Serena:** Why a frog…?

**Valcoria:** Cuz he just works like that.

**Nico: **Well, Harry, do your thing.

**Harry: **_*sighs and points wand at Kaoru behind curtain* _Froguscus!

**Kaoru:** _(POOF) *turns to frog* (ribbit)_

**Students: **Ooooh… _*claps*_

**Hikaru:** AND NOW I SHALL TURN HIM BACK INTO A HUMAN!

**Harry: **_*points wand again*_ Anti-frogus–

**Hermione:** _*suddenly appears at backstage*_ HARRY! _*grabs his collar*_

**Harry: **Huh?

**Hermione: **WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE?! ARE YOU MAD?!

**Harry: **No, wait, I was forced–

**Hermione: **Whatever! We gotta go back NOW. _*poofs away from scene with Harry*_

**Haruhi: **...

**Valcoria:** ...

**Serena:** ...

**Tamaki:** _*still wearing pink dress and green hair*_ ...

**Pop: **...

**PA Team Member:** ...

**Honey:**_*eating strawberries* (munch, munch)_

**Nekozawa:** ...

**Belzeneff: **…

**Mori:** ...

**Nico: **Well, that was unexpected.

**Hikaru:**_ *pokes frog-Kaoru*_ Dude, turn back.

**Frog Kaoru:** _(ribbit) _Does it look like I can do that?

...

**Year 5 Kid:** BOOOOOOOOOH!

_Suddenly the whole school starts throwing tomatoes, that magically appeared, at the stage. Hikaru runs off, but unfortunately not fast enough since he was bulleted with several tomatoes. Frog Kaoru manages to hop off the stage while dodging the incoming tomatoes._

**Pop: **_*eye twitching*_ We'll have to clean this...

_After LOTS AND LOTS of cleaning, the gang is back at the library..._

**Nico: **Haha, well, that was fun, wasn't it?

**Everyone else: **_*glares*_

**Nico:** No? Okay… Hikaru, aren't you gonna wash that off?

**Hikaru: **_*covered in tomatoes from head to toe*_ Exactly how am I going to do that? There's no showers at this school.

**Nico:** Yeah, but–

**Nico's Grandma:** NICOLETTA?! _*walks into library* _There you are, I've been looking for you for two days!– Who are these people?

**Nico: **They're…friends.

...

**Tamara:** _*walks past*_ KOFF!

…

...

**Tamara:** OOOOH! IS THAT DOCTOR WHO MERCH?! _*runs off*_

...

...

**Nico's Grandma:** Right… _*looks over Hikaru*_ MY! Is that ripe tomato sauce you're covered in?!

**Hikaru: **_*looks down at himself*_ I guess.…

**Nico's Grandma:** That'd be great for my bolognese sauce! _*grips Hikaru's shoulders and leads him out of room*_ I know I have a squeegee somewhere…

**Hikaru: **O.o

…

**Nico: **Don't judge her…

**Nico's Grandma:** _*outside with Hikaru* _OOOH! AND I CAN MAKE FRIED FROG LEGS WITH THAT FROG!

**Frog Kaoru:** _(RIBBIT?!)_

**Hikaru: **NO, DON'T KILL KAORU!

…

...

**Nico: **…

**Nico's Grandma: **I FOUND A SPARE SQUEEGEE IN MY CAR! NOW STRIP OFF THOSE CLOTHES, BOY!

**Hikaru: **EH?!

…

**Nico: **You can feel free to judge now… _*sweatdrops*_

**Valcoria: **Hmm, well, in my opinion, Hikaru-flavoured bolognese sounds kinda yummy.

...

...

_(THE COMEBACK OF THE CRICKETS)_

…

...

**Valcoria: **What?

**Pop: **You really don't joke around when you say you love the twins, do you?

**Valcoria:** No, I don't.

...

**Nico's Grandma: **COME ON, STRIP THOSE CLOTHES OFF! AND GIMME THAT FROG!

**Hikaru: **NO WAY!

**Valcoria: **DON'T WORRY HIKARU AND KAORU, I'LL SAVE YOU! _*runs out of library crying out war cries*_

...

**Juniper: **Hey, where's Kyoya?

**Everyone else: **Huh?

_Meanwhile, over at Hogwarts…_

**Kyoya: **_*sitting on rubble* _That friggin' otaku, leaving me here… HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GO HOME?!

_Back at library..._

**Nico:** Hmm, I dunno. Maybe he managed to escape.

**Host Club: **Lucky…

...

**Serena: **Well, there's no more dares…

**Nico: **Oh yeah, there aren't… Pop, do you wanna finish this chapter up while the guys and I go help Cori-chan saving the twins from my grandma?

**Nico's Grandma:** LEMME FRY THAT FROG!

**Frog Kaoru:** _(RIBBIT!)_

**Pop: **…sure.

**Nico: **OKAY MEN! LET'S GO! _*marches out of library with remaining Host Club plus otakus*_

…

**Pop: **Well, uh, that was chapter two, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Remember to review and leave your truths or dares to see what will happen the next chapter! Plus, the more ridiculous the better! We'll see you soon, then! _*smiles and leaves to help everyone*_

…

**_CLASH_**

**Nico's Grandma:** MY BOLOGNESE!

…

**Tamara: **KOFF!


End file.
